


ever so sweet

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Coming of Age, Confusion, Dreams, F/M, Field Trip, Flashbacks, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Grief/Mourning, Hospitals, M/M, Melancholy, Mystery, Other, Sad, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29423067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: one field trip with your loved ones should be memorable— right?
Relationships: Sakusa Kiyoomi/Reader
Kudos: 3





	1. awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >souvenir  
> julien baker, phoebe bridgers, lucy darcy

You’re asleep; head against a shoulder. In your free ear, there was an earbud, playing music. Behind the music, you hear laughing, talking, and chanting. There is also a familiar voice behind you, arguing lightheadedly with someone. Who were these people?

Where were you again? 

You notice that your surroundings were, shaking? You were sitting on a cushioned seating. Are you in a car? No— a bus, to be specific. Your hand was in someone else’s hand; fingers intertwined. It was comforting, to feel the warmth against your hand.  
You finally, slowly, open your eyes. A pounding headache has just started to pulse in your head but you ignored it.  
The shoulder you were laying your head on softly shrugged so your head was finally lifted.

“You’re finally awake.” A deep voice softly chimed.

You turn to see where the voice came from.  
Sakusa Kiyoomi?  
You noticed that the other earbud was in his ear and that it was his hands that were holding your hand.

“You’ve been asleep for the whole ride Y/N, were you that tired?”

“Oh..” the truth is, you don’t remember. “Yeah, I guess I was.”

“Yeah, poor Kiyoomi was bored since you were asleep the whole ride.”

You turn to see a familiar blonde.  
“Atsumu?”

The blonde bursted out laughing.  
“Did you forget who I was?”

Did you?  
You shook your head.  
“No, of course not, how could I forget you.” You commented truthfully.

Then, you put your hand up to your forehead, wincing. God, your headache was going to be the death of you.

Sakusa glanced at you worryingly.  
“You okay?”

You nodded and smiled lightly, reassuring.

“God, never in my life would I thought Kiyoomi would be in a relationship before me,” Atsumu pouted. “Life ain’t fair.”

You chuckled lightly.  
“You will be in a relationship soon Atsumu.”

“Pfft.. we’ll see.” Sakusa chuckled.

Before Atsumu went off arguing with Sakusa, the bus halted to a stop.

“Alright, everybody we’re here!”

Wait, where?

The teacher continued.  
“We’ll be up in the mountains for only 3 days, so have fun. Curfew is at 10 pm., and no heavy drinking.”

“Jeez.. can’t believe we’re doing a damn a field trip in University.” Sakusa mentioned.

“I mean, we are about to graduate soon, so yay!” Atsumu brought up.

You chuckled softly. “At least we get to spend more time together.”

Kiyoomi smiled.  
“Yeah.”

At this point your headache was turning into a migraine. Your ears start to ring too.  
Even though you didn’t say anything, Sakusa knew. Your eyebrows furrowing out of pain, your heavy eyelids. Why were you so tired?

“Do you need an Advil?” 

“I’ll be fine, I won’t die.” You joke.

The familiar, faint, smile was painted into Sakusa’s face again.  
“Right, of course.”

“Jeez, Y/N must be really sleepy, huh.” The blonde pointed out.

“I’m pretty sure I’ll be okay once we step out of the bus, it’s just loud.”

It was loud. With the students chattering, the thunder booming in the sky, the light rain hitting against the bus windows— you couldn’t focus on one thing.

Then, the students were ordered to get off the bus to take out their luggage.  
Sakusa was still holding your hand until you pulled your luggage out.

It was funny. You knew where your luggage was but didn’t know where you were? 

“Hey, did you guys hear?” A homely voice brought up, interrupting your train of thoughts. “There was a landslide a couple miles away, killed a lot of passengers that were also on a bus apparently.”

That was out of the blue. 

“Oh.. that’s not good, it’s good that we made it safe in this weather.” You sighed out.

“Yeah, thank god.” Sakusa agreed.

“Off topic but what cabin are you in Kiyoomi?” Atsumu yelled.

“Um...” Sakusa opened his backpack and took out a piece of paper. You did the same since.. you forgot what cabin you were in. “I’m in 5, how about you?”

“I’m in 5 too!” Atsumu laughed. “You’re stuck with me!”  
Sakusa rolled his eyes.

“Aha, I’m in Cabin 4.” You chuckled.

“Hey, at least you’re with Shoyo!” Atsumu cheered.

“Oh, that’s great!”

“I won’t be able to see you at night.” Sakusa chimed.

“You’ll be able to see me through the whole day! Plus, just sneak out.” You joked.

“The teachers don’t want us to have sex.” Atsumu blurted out.

“Yeah, no shit.” You and Sakusa said.

You looked around to see that there were only 3 major cabins— more like large homes, made out of wood. Then there was a large outside, cafeteria.  
It was a nice atmosphere— with the rain, the smell of pine, and the crisp cold air.  
Your migraine just started fade away (thankfully) as you didn’t want that to stop you and your friends to have fun.

Then there was an announcement on a megaphone.

“Okay students! Go unpack into your guys’ designated cabins and have fun.”

The students cheered, as you, Sakusa, and Atsumu did the same.

You were going to have fun.


	2. questioning

You and Shoyo walk to your guys’ designated cabins, along with other students. You guys were chatting lightly, taking about whatever that came up in your guys’ heads. 

You turn to see how many people were also in the same cabin as you were in and noticed that not a lot of people were in Cabin 4; you found it strange but brushed it off to the side since the cabin you were in was all randomized from a draw.  
It was around 6 other students were in the same cabin.

You walked in, and immediately noticed that it was very warm— you weren’t complaining.   
The living area was spacious, along with the kitchen. You assumed that the rooms were upstairs. There were fairy lights hanging around, giving off a very comforting atmosphere.  
It also smelled like cinnamon and peppermint— with a little bit of, alcohol? Rubbing alcohol to be specific.

You turn to Hinata to see him talking with another person. Politely, you walked up to him and tapped his shoulder.  
“Hey, do you smell alcohol?” You questioned.

He sniffed the air.  
“Huh, I do.. but it’s not something to worry about, it’s probably because they cleaned up before we   
arrived!”

You laugh.  
“You’re right.”

For a few minutes, you just stood awkwardly, behind Hinata while he was talking. Thankfully, he seemed to notice.  
“Hey, let me introduce you to someone!”   
Hinata happily suggest. The certain ‘someone’ was the person that Hinata was talking to earlier.

“Hey, I’m Bokuto!”

You shake his hand.  
“Hello, I’m Y/N! I’ve seen you around, you play volleyball right? With Kiyoomi, Atsumu, and Hinata, right?”

The owl nodded with a grin on his face.  
“We’re all planning to go pro after college.”

“Wow, I hear Kiyoomi talking about volleyball a lot.” 

How did you remember that?

“I wish you guys the best of luck!” You continue.

“Thanks, how about you? What are you going to do?”

To be honest, you really didn’t know.  
“Ah.. I don’t really know at the moment but I’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, you don’t need to rush yourself, plus, you’re smart Y/N.” Hinata adds on.

“HAHA.. very funny, should we go unpack our things now?” You joked.

“Nah, we can do that later, let’s just go outside and see if the others are there!”

You were kind of hesitant, since you wanted to unpack so you didn’t have to when you were all tired out. Nonetheless, you wanted to see Kiyoomi and Atsumu, plus the other students.

So, the three of you walked out and you notice— that there were less people? Sure they could be in the cabins, unpacking, but it’s been quite a while since people entered the cabins.   
Was it because of the weather? It stopped raining so the sky was just very cloudy but you were so sure that college students would be having fun; drinking, making out, playing games, and what not.  
Even the teachers seemed to have ‘disappeared’.

You take a peak in Cabin 5 and there was some students but not a lot.  
Sure, it was a small group of students about to graduate but it wasn’t that small.

Your train of thoughts were broken by two hands grasping hold of your shoulders.

“Boo.”   
Your damn boyfriend. “Did I scare you?”

Yes he did.  
“No, I saw it coming.” You said humbly.

“Hmm.. sure, what are you thinking about?”

Huh? Was it that obvious?

“You were just staring into the cabin.” He pointed out.

“I was just— there’s a lot less people, no? I swear there was more students.” 

“Huh, you’re right, but it’s probably something you don’t need to worry about, you’re just overthinking. Plus, there’s still some students I see outside of the cabin. Hinata and Bo are talking to some of the students, do you not see?”

You did see, you couldn’t help but to feel relieved.

‘Something you don’t need to worry about.’  
That’s the second time you heard that phrase today.

“Haha, maybe I am.. where’s Astumu?”

“Tsk.. I wouldn’t know, he’s probably drunk already.”

“It’s not even 5 pm. yet!”

“You know him, always eager to do something. He’s probably naked in his room.”

“Gross, doesn’t he have roommates?”

Sakusa nodded his head.  
“I never said he was actually naked.”

Kiyoomi casually swung his arm around your neck. His body against yours, feeling warm.   
He looked at you— your slightly worried expression, you biting the inside of your mouth.  
He knew that you were worried— more like scared.

He couldn’t blame you for feeling like that.

“Hey, don’t worry, there’s no murderer on the loose.”

You shoved him lightly as a joke.  
“Yeah, I obviously know that.” You snap back with a smile.

That smile.  
Your warmth.  
Your personality.

Sakusa was going to miss you.


	3. having fun

You, Sakusa, Hinata, and Bo were at the dining area, snacking and talking.  
There were small amount students scattered around the area; around the campfire, under the big pine trees, on the deck of the cabins. 

Atsumu wasn’t seen anywhere.

But, it still wasn’t a lot of people. There were maybe— 2 teachers. There were people who are in charge of the place, talking with the teachers.  
You were growing with concern and confusion, mostly confusion, while your friends and your boyfriend were acting normal.

“Hey Y/N.” 

You turned to see Sakusa tossing his jacket onto your head.

“Stop worrying, everything’s fine.”

You put his jacket on, taking in the scent of his light cologne.  
“I know, I know, just overthinking again.”

“Well, stop overthinking.”

You rolled your eyes.  
“Easier said then done dumbass.”

You start joining in the conversation with the guys, trying to forget. 

“Finally Y/N!” Bokuto sighed in relieved.

“You’re finally joining us!” Hinata pointed out. “You’re supposed to destress on this trip, not the opposite.”

“Well, I’m trying.” You laugh off.

“Here, have a sip.”  
Sakusa handed you a cup.  
“It’s just beer.”

You put the cup to your lips and sipped. It was sweeter than usual but you ignored it, it almost tasted like medicine. Then, you started drinking the whole cup.

“Hey, calm down, the beer isn’t going anywhere.” Sakusa commented.

“Yeah.. but I need to distress, no? Plus, I’m living life to the fullest.”

“Okay, but once you start getting drunk, I’m taking away the beer from you.”

“Fine, it’s better for me anyways, my migraine is going to get worse once I’m hungover. I’m going to forget everything in the morning.”

“You get drunk?” Hinata asked.

You shrugged.  
“Doesn’t eeverybody at some point?”

“I never saw Y/N get drunk, this is going to be hilarious.” Bokuto cackled.

“Trust mee, I’m boring when I’m drrunk.”  
You looked around for a certain blonde.

“Hey, ...do you guys know wheree Aatsumu is?”  
You were already slurring.

Sakusa put a genuine, solemn but soft smile.  
“He’s in a better place.”

“Ohh.. he went home?” You asked.

Kiyoomi chuckled.  
“Yes.”

You were part drunk so the words didn’t make sense but you shrugged it off. You shrugged off the out of blue genuine tone coming from Sakusa’s lips.  
You shrugged off Astumu suddenly disappearing.

It has been, approximately 2 hours later.  
It was already dark, the only light source coming from the hanging lights and the large campfire.  
You were sitting with Sakusa, your head on his shoulder.  
Your heavy lidded eyes wandered to Hinata and Bokuto; they were chasing other students, like little kids playing tag.

“Hey, Y/N..” Sakusa mumbled.

“Hmm?” 

“Do you think we’ll be together after we graduate?”

“Why do you want to break up?”

“What, no, it’s just we’ve been together for so long.”

“Mhm.. you’re right about that.”  
From the beginning of the day, you didn’t know where you were but you knew Sakusa, Atsumu, Hinata, and Bokuto.  
Maybe you were really tired and just passed out on the bus.

You chuckled, interrupting your own thoughts.  
“Why, do you want to marry me?”

Sakusa laughed and smiled.  
“We’ll see.”

You shoved your arm to his arm.  
“I don’t even know if we’ll be together after college.”

Sakusa furrowed his brows.  
“Why do you say that?”

“What if we have a big fight? What if something bad happens?”

“Then, we move on. It’s going to be hard but we have to move on, sooner or later. No matter how much you love someone, you have to do things that’s hard for everybody but better.”

“Oh... you got so philosophical all of the sudden. That’s not like you.”  
At this point, you were about to pass out because of the drinks had.

“I know, but I’m just being honest.”

“Hmm... okay,” you hummed. You put your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes. “I love you.”  
Slowly, you fall asleep.

For obvious reasons, you don’t hear what Sakusa say.

“I love you too, but you have to move on for me and you.”


	4. beginning

It was the second year of college was when you met Sakusa.  
Having mostly the same lectures and classes, it was hard to ignore him.

His nonchalant personality really drew you into him, even if he didn’t talk to you as much.  
The only times you did talk was either class discussions or group projects.  
Just like a cliché, you sat next to each other in one of your guys’ classes. You’d notice that he’d wear his mask and was cautious of his surroundings— and you respected that.

You guys would also help each other out at times.  
One time, you noticed Sakusa furrowing his brows in confusion, looking up and down the board, frantically, trying to understand.  
You hesitantly tapped his hand with your pencil and asked if he was okay and if he needed help.  
He scoffed but you didn’t take it personally. The dark haired boy thought that you were trying to help him out of pity. He still accepted your offer.  
Sakusa later learned that you were actually smart and tutored some freshmen during your free time.

When you found out he played volleyball from classmates, you weren’t impressed— at the time.  
Who could blame you? Volleyball was assumed to be a boring sport. You didn’t hear a lot of people gawking over volleyball, most of the times it would be basketball or soccer.

Then, you stumbled across a game.  
You had finished all of your assignments and did your daily chores so you decided to walk around.  
Hearing from freshmen, there was an exciting volleyball game, ‘full of hot guys’. Curious and bored, you grudgingly walked to the gym to see the supposedly excited game.

You didn’t understand what was happening but it was satisfying to see the players naturally work with each other. The competition was also fierce. You would curse to yourself if someone didn’t hit the ball correctly or if a blocker had failed to block.

All of the players were very talented. An oranged haired guy was shorter but he jumped very high, making him unpredictable. There was an egotistical blonde, flirting with the onlookers as he settled the ball flawlessly. A black and white, spiky haired blocker, he was very strong.

Then you noticed Sakusa. You weren’t going to lie, it was pretty fucking cool. How everybody knew what they were doing and how they communicated through their movements. You were engulfed.

To Sakusa, you weren’t annoying in his eyes.  
You were introverted but you were able to talk to everybody that needed you.  
He was going to admit, he found you good-looking, your skin color glowing under the fluorescent lights, your hair suiting your face, your body, your freckles/scars/pimples, and most of all; your personality.

He found himself paying attention to you more than other people. He kept cursing at himself on how ‘cliché’ and ‘dumb’ this all sounded but he couldn’t really stop himself from thinking about— well, you.  
Atsumu once caught Sakusa staring off to you.  
The blonde nervously brought it up.

“You keep on looking at L/N, you like them?”

“I don’t know,” He paused. “Wait, you know them?”

“L/N, yeah, I mean, mostly everybody. They help out with assignments and sometimes tutors other students— like me.”

“Oh, so they’re smart?”

“Yeah, you could say,” Atsumu chuckled. “Are you interested in being friends with them?”

“Maybe.”

Atsumu was taken by the sudden bluntness.  
“Dang, good luck then. How are you going to plan on doing that?”

“Get to know L/N, I guess.”

And so he did.  
When he saw you at one of his games, he was slightly relieved that he was in his best condition today. He couldn’t talk to you since you left right after the game ended but, you guys had classes the next morning.

Thankfully, it was you that sparked the first out of thousands of conversations you’d guys have.  
You were contemplating if you should compliment him and his team.

Approximately after 15 minutes of you gathering the courage, you quietly complimented, “I saw your volleyball games yesterday, you and your team were awesome by the way.”  
You weren’t sure if he had heard you but knew that it wasn’t going to be a big deal if he didn’t.

“Thank you, and it’s not my team.” A deep voice quietly hummed.

“Oh, my bad,” You awkwardly chuckled. “How long have you been playing?”

Instead of responding with his voice, he wrote alongside of your notebook, ‘As long as I can remember.’

You immediately knew why he was doing this, so you guys won’t get in trouble. Biting the inside of your mouth, you weren’t sure if you should respond or not.  
You pointed to his notebook, silently asking permission to write on it. He nodded.

‘I thought volleyball was a boring sport haha, you proved me wrong.’

‘Glad to hear that.’

‘Never really got confirmed of what your name was.’

‘Sakusa Kiyoomi, how about you?’

‘L/N Y/N.’

This was where your journey with Sakusa began.


	5. cliché

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where it started.

After that, the two of you naturally grew closer— platonically, then romantically. You guys would hang out, eat together, and do your homework together. You also got to meet Atsumu, which was a very interesting interaction.

To your surprise, Sakusa was the first one to tell you that he liked you for some time. Of course, you always thought what it might be like dating Sakusa but always thought that he only liked you platonically. But you still thought— even if he did ‘confess’, you wouldn’t decline.

It has been about 5 months now. You were at his dorm room, just hanging out and doing your homework on the floor. It was quiet but it wasn’t awkward. You liked that— how you can hang out with Sakusa and no matter how quiet or loud you were, he didn’t make you feel awkward about. Sometimes, he would throw in some snarky and judgmental remarks but you didn’t take it personally. That was the thing with Sakusa, he was judgmental and blunt, sometimes making it either hard or easy to talk to him.  
You kept on noticing how he kept glancing up and down at you, like he wanted to say something.

“Do you need something?” You ask.  
For a simple question, that threw him off.

“What?”

You giggle quietly.  
“You keep looking at me, do I look good?”

“Just because I’m looking at you doesn’t mean you look good, you look—.”

Closing your eyes, you mockingly throw your hand on your forehead and fall back gently on the floor.  
“Oh shit, I’ve been hurt, please refrain yourself from saying more or I will die.”

There was a few seconds of silence until you opened your eyes. Seeing Sakusa above you made your heart beat go through the roof.  
He leaned down and kissed you gently on your forehead.

“You look amazing.”

You wanted to laugh but you paused before saying anything. Was he joking? Was he messing with you so he can just get a reaction out of you?

“What the hell man, this isn’t like you.” You laugh.

“Do you think I’m joking?”

“...are you..?”

“I’ve liked you a for a while. Even if you don’t like me back, I’ll try to make you happy, not as friends but as your boyfriend.”

You blink. In your lifetime, you were never in serious relationships, the only relationship you have been was in high school, but it had only lasted for 2 years. It ended on a good note.

Sitting up, you take a breath.  
“You aren’t being sarcastic, right?”

Sakusa furrowed his eyebrows.  
“Why would I kiss you as a joke? I can’t even touch Atsumu without gagging.”

“You’re right about that—“

He kissed you on the lips, hands gently on your neck.

“Be mine, Y/N.”


End file.
